#NationalPoetryMonth – Day 5

KINDNESS

I’ve never been a sweet girl
rather prickly around the edges
callous at times
cold and closed off
The curse of the introvert
because really
that’s all misunderstanding
and somewhere deep
hidden under the layers
is a nice person
she’s just kind of shy
and doesn’t tolerate idiots

So these days
amidst all the fuckery
and madness
I’ve become more introspective
quiet
removed
I’ve crawled into myself
even further than before
It’s a means of protection
survival skill of sorts
a shoring up of the mind
to protect the weaker
heart and soul

And still he persists

I’ve snapped
for no reason at all
disappeared weeks on end
replied to his messages
only to say
yes, I’m alive
now leave me the fuck alone
Unconsciously attempting
to build a wall around myself
impenetrable
unscalable
But he’s an excellent climber
and manages to penetrate
the most impossible fortresses
offering tiny kindnesses
to warm my cold black heart

Dinner at a favorite restaurant
a hand on the small of my back
rare whiskey though he doesn’t drink
a kiss on the curve of my neck
jokes in an elevator
midnight texts
Tenderness wrapped in small packages
because he knows
it’s easier for me to swallow
Warmth in mini offerings
so I don’t feel
overwhelmed and skittish

He persists
because he knows
that for all my badassery
my don’t-fuck-with-mes
my leave-me-alones
what I really need
here and there
is a little love and tenderness
some kindness and care
and even though
I might never admit it
I’m so thankful
for his incredibly
stubborn heart


April is National Poetry Month and to celebrate – inspired by that badass word warrior Jason Reynolds and my writing promptress Jena Schwartz – I’m going to post a poem every day. They won’t be perfect, they never are, but they’ll be here, every day of April. I hope you stop by and enjoy the words and maybe even feel moved to share some of your own.

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3 thoughts on “#NationalPoetryMonth – Day 5

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