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#ThursdayThoughts

March 31, 2016March 26, 2016 / mpavamani45

ain’t no half-stepping

thursday thoughts

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A few evenings back, I was at my desk at Paul Weiss, the law firm where I’ve lawyered for more years than I ever imagined possible, and I glanced up from my computer screen to catch sight of a maintenance person fixing the nameplate outside my office. I paused. Pushed back from my desk. Settled in. And I watched. And I smiled. They finished their ministrations and continued down the hall, I counted to five, then popped up out of my chair. Without a thought, I grabbed my phone and snapped this photo. MADHURI PAVAMANI. I was back. I looked up and and down my quiet hall to make sure no one was witnessing my moment, then smiled again and took another photo. I never wanted to give up my name, but I was young and he was determined. And I learned early in my marriage about battles, and which ones made sense to wage, and which ones left permanent scars. So I became another, walked in her footsteps for years, wore her clothes, laughed her laugh. I perfected my otherness in such a way few knew or remembered that first girl, the kind of wild one, the free spirit, until I could do so no more. It was a fight to make it back to myself, a down and dirty kind of battle, terrifying, sharp claws and bloody nails, a test of soul and spirit. But I did it. I made it. I survived. So if you happen to be walking the halls of the 27th floor of Paul Weiss, and you see a tiny brown woman with blonde hair gazing at her office nameplate like there’s a little magic in it, know this: there is. 🖤💫🖤 #writer #life #women #marriage #truth #birthname #paulweiss #lawyer #divorce #writing #shortstory #curryscentedbitch #browngirlmagic

P.O.W. #writing #writer #poem #beyonce #writergirl #randomwritingprompt #poetry #whobitbeyonce #words #pow #love #romance #curryscentedbitch #browngirlmagic

I’ve lost faith in the adults around here. But these kids - they’re no joke and they know what is the what #neveragain #thekidsarealright #guncontrol #blacklivesmatter #Repost @rookiemag ・・・ “There is something magical about youth speaking out. We have seen this throughout history and it’s happening again.” From @sofiabews’ interview with #MarchForOurLives Student Organizer @lilyskatz. ⚡️ (Photo by @roseolm; bit.ly/2Gwe6GA)

THE STRANGER #words #writing #poem #poetry #characterstudy #women #magic #girlmagic #writer #memory #love #HER #curryscentedbitch #browngirlmagic

He’s back!! 🐀 #banksy #streetart #NYC #ratrace #graffiti #painterboy #curryscentedbitch #browngirlmagic

JUNOT DIAZ SAYS I don’t write much these days. In fact, if I’m being totally honest, I don’t write at all. Which has left open hours upon hours to indulge my second favorite thing to do: read. I’ve been tearing through my TBR list and visiting my local indie bookstore @littlecitybooks like they’re a bad habit i can’t break, and during this time one of the books I devoured was Junot Diaz’s This Is How You Lose Her. It’s been on my shelf for years. Now that i finished it, I can’t believe it’s been allowed to sit there so long unloved and unmarked (yes, I mark up my books with notes and underlines and comments and love - deal with it). One line in particular, towards the end of the novel, made me stop and sit and ponder the magic of language and rhythm and love, and how they fit together to make these stories that move and groove us and find a place in our bones to call home. And I felt a familiar stir. And then I wrote this poem. So thank you Mr. Diaz, for your words and your magic and your inspiration. It might not have lasted long - I haven’t written but a few lines here and there since - but damn those fleeting moments of putting pen to paper were glorious. #writing #poem #poetry #love #junotdiaz #writer #lovestory #writersofinstagram #words #indiebookstore #thisishowyouloseher #books #reading #painterboy #booksyoushouldread #curryscentedbitch #browngirlmagic

Despite the fact I did not look all gazelle-like running the park this afternoon à la the lovely @michelemason, I still managed to get outside and enjoy this weather. My body is not yet ready for warm-weather runs, but my mind is like “bring it, Mother Nature!!” Hopefully by the time May rolls around and Michele and I are lining up for our first 10K, me and my New Balance will be burning up the pavement. Until then, that tiny brown blonde slogging around the reservoir, all rosy-cheeked and sweaty, she be me 🙋🏽‍♀️ #browngirlrunning #centralpark #NYC #running #10K #runner #girlgang #intraining #writergirl #newbalance #ineedablondeemoji #springtime #ishouldbedoingyoga #browngirlmagic

DICK FOR A DAY... or what happens after a long night of drinking with the girls 🥃 #writing #rhyme #dickforaday #women #girlgang #poetry #gardenclub #funwithwords #wriiter #whiskeyandwords #poem #browngirlwriting #dare #browngirlmagic

so ready for ice cream weather 😎🍦 #Repost @morgensternsnyc ・・・ Out of conetrol🍦 📸: @tasteofeastcoast

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