#WednesdayFreeWrite – BREAK UP



Dear American Spirits in the yellow box (you fucking sexy bastards):

Numerous scientific reports
countless studies
health care professionals
my mom
agree on one thing:
you are a murderer
and I must quit you

But do they know
can they ever understand
the depth of our love
the desire
the need

Are they aware
you are my first thought
when I wake every morning

Do they understand
how you compliment
my other lover
that sexy dark bastard

And shit
you + a glass of bourbon
goddamned fucking heaven

Were they in bed with us
when I fucked that boy
then booted him out
so I could fuck that girl
the next morning

Were they on the phone with us
while I sobbed and raged
and then finally calmed
as my mom relayed
the death of my childhood dog

Were they in that bar with us
as we sang our hearts out
to the Backstreet Boys
“I Want It That Way”
totally off key

Were they up
three nights in a row with us
as I finished my Note
only to have the computer crash
and lose all of my work

Were they by our side
as we battled the bulge
and won the war
to be super skinny
and ultra chic
no matter the cost

Were they around to celebrate with us
when I finally got rid of that guy
the annoying one
who lived off his trust fund
and his good looks
but was dumb as shit

They weren’t
not for one single moment
of any of the moments
that make up the whole
of us
me and you
a girl and her smokes

They don’t understand
and they never will

But see here’s the thing
I just found out
that by some dumb luck
I’m knocked up
and me and The Husband
we’re going to give it a go
try on this thing
called Parenthood

So you and me
we’ve gotta part ways
and I know it’s going to be tough
and shitty
and just all around fucked up
but a girl’s gotta do
what a girl’s gotta do

Take comfort in the knowledge
that I never gave into all that peer pressure
to quit you

I held my ground
and stayed strong
refusing to listen to the facts

Know that this is my decision
and mine alone
no one else
could have made me leave you

And should I make it
to my ninetieth birthday
know that I’ll be back
It’ll be like the old days
(except my ass will sag
and my tits will touch my belly button)
me you and that sexy bottle of bourbon
fucking each other silly

Sincerely and with loads of mad love,
a healthier
fucking gorgeous-skinned

In case you’re wondering, no! I’m not pregnant. But it is true that I only broke up with my beloved American Spirits upon discovering I was pregnant with The Kid.

My #WednesdayFreeWrite series is based on what I write during the 10 minutes allotted my writing group’s Wednesday Prompt. As always, these pieces are works of fiction, erupting from my incredibly over-active imagination. They are unedited and unscripted, super loose and probably my favorite ten minutes of the week. They are perfect in their imperfections and I hope you enjoy.

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3 thoughts on “#WednesdayFreeWrite – BREAK UP

  1. Pingback: september wrap-up / over 100 followers | inertial confinement

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