#WednesdayFreeWrite – RORSCHACH

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RORSCHACH

I saw it and couldn’t see a thing
my mind drew a blank
the word made no sense
evoked no image

I came back to it all day
and still nothing
but frustration and irritation
and everything but what I needed
inspiration

And I know
she wants us to write anyway
but it would have been nonsensical
or a blank page
and I’m cool with neither

Plus, I made the mistake
of checking out
what others’ produced
just a skim
a peek
a word here a word there
and I knew I was fucked
Because even after cheating
I still didn’t get it
Also, their words were beautiful
and moving
and deep

And me
nothing

Rather like my day
all motions
no substance
Perfect performance
with no soul
There’s no piece of me left anywhere
on anything I touched

Come here she whispered
as I unburdened myself
while shedding my bra
and panties
and makeup
Unburdening my body
of the burdens of girliness

But she can’t make it better
with her lips
and her fingers
and her tongue
which I know is her plan
because when I open myself to her
and release my thoughts
my fears
my insecurities
she falls a little harder for me

I think it was a bear
but maybe I only think that
because I fucking cheated
and read other posts

And if I’m being honest
with myself
and others
to my hardly discerning or sophisticated eye
it looks like an amoeba
which also seems like cheating
because duh
every Rorschach looks like an ameoba

I hate shit like this

Why she whispers
slipping behind me
without me knowing
because I was too caught up in castigating myself
and my unsophisticated eye

Her breath ghosts along the blade of my shoulder
warm
and her fingers
where they rest on my hip
burn
and she knows this

And even though I don’t want to be distracted
by her
and her tender touch
and her warm mouth
and her very skilled fingers
She persists
her hands knowing all of my spots

Answer me she insists

And I do
because sometimes it’s nice
to feel her breath in my ear
and her lips on my nipples
and her tongue in my pussy
and other times it’s nice
to bitch and moan
about that fucking Rorschach
that goddamned amoeba


My #WednesdayFreeWrite series is based on what I write during the 10 minutes allotted for my writing group’s Wednesday Prompt. It’s an unedited free write and probably my favorite ten minutes of the week, although I must admit this week’s prompt left me blank and I still don’t know why. Even now, when I look at what I wrote, it’s basically a poem about my current residence in the state of blank. But like I always say, it’s perfect in its imperfections and I hope you enjoy.

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