Would he draw a line in the sand between us
because I already knew I would allow no such thing
He could easily get around my denial of our predicament
by simply never contacting me again and even though I hated admitting it
the possibility of him following such a course loomed large.
I pushed him in ways he hated being pushed
I demanded things of him he despised
I brought to the surface aspects of himself he long ago buried
and intended never to revisit or remember or recall.
I was everything he didn’t want.
And I had no idea where to find him were he to suddenly vanish
I simply assumed I would never need to
that he would always come back to me
that I was