Random Thoughts – Bang It On The Bible

1. Packing your house to move sucks ass. Hard.


2. To the women of my firm, your bathroom etiquette is non-existent. You’re bright, well-educated, and know what’s the what, so puh-leeez, stop pissing all over the toilet seat. And if you do, which is totally fine, it happens to the best of us, for god’s sake, wipe that shit up.

3. I’m not a Trey Songz fan, but this song is hella sexy.

4. The Stepdaughter is stunning. Like drop dead gorgeous. She came home from Sri Lanka last week, relaxed and sun-kissed, and a few days later, when she walked in from work one evening, she literally took my breath away. The Husband makes some seriously fine-looking kids.


5. I’ve been putting together promotional pieces for Book III here and there and I think I hit it out of the park the other day when I created one for Darby. She just naturally lends herself to all kinds of awesomeness.


6. An old, high school friend just relayed this story about my dad, to my dad, who just retired from his General Surgery practice this past October. He was a brilliant surgeon but was just as well-known for his bedside manner and his patients adored him. It’s too good not to re-post here:

I came to see you many years ago about the ganglion cyst on my wrist, that I was sure was caused by playing guitar. You told me that banging it on the family Bible would make it go away. I eventually took your advice, and it worked!! Ha!

7. I love Charles Bukowski. No need to elaborate on that one. Except to say that if you’ve never read any Chuck, I’m so sorry for you.


8. I learned how to say motherfucking dicks in Malayalam. It’s kunnas thayoliin case you’re wondering, and you know you are.

9. And last, but by no means least, Lemony Snicket is an asshole. There, I said it. And it’s true. He’s an asshole. The way Daniel Handler hijacked Jacqueline Woodson’s night at the National Book Awards by cracking some racist jokes about Ms. Woodson and her allergy to watermelon – I have no words. But blogger David Perry summed it up perfectly when he stated the following:

“For a powerful white author to make a watermelon joke when handing out an award to a black author, the message is – no matter what you write, no matter what you do, no matter what you accomplish, you will always be a BLACK author, not just an author.”

*Update: Mr. Handler has since donated 10K to We Need Diverse Books fundraising campaign and is matching any donations made within the next 24 hours, up to 100K, so please make a donation by clicking —> HERE 

My two cents: It’s great that Mr. Handler has put his money where his nasty mouth is, but all the money in the world will not erase my memory of how he tarnished Ms. Woodson’s night. I only hope next time he chooses to be so hurtful and stupid, he thinks twice.

And on that note, happy weekend.

Holla bitches.


7 thoughts on “Random Thoughts – Bang It On The Bible

  1. Oh, you said it perfectly. My Yiddish equivalent? Shmuck. Donations are fantastic and I want to focus on the positive, but that’s exactly it–you can’t buy your way out of being an ignorant, racist asshole.

  2. My concern, Jena, is that is exactly what is going to happen. Mr. Handler will buy himself out of this shit storm he has created with his insensitive, disgusting verbiage. And honestly, I’m not buying any defense he might put forth – there is NO fucking way in this day and age, you do NOT know that is offensive, racist, and just cruel.


    Tiny arms are waving around in such anger.

    Must. Calm. Down.

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