Random Thoughts, The One Where Thoughts of Beyoncé Kind of Dominate

So I started this post as a regular Random Thoughts post, but a lot of the randoms kept coming back to Bey, so this one’s dedicated to the Queen. And no, let’s not get too carried away with ourselves, I have not all the sudden become a member of the hive…

1. New battle cry:


2. So a couple of weekends ago we were TOTALLY gross and had dinner at McDonald’s…and it was really yummy. The Husband wasn’t feeling great and decided that fast food was the best way to feel better – don’t ask – so sent me up to the golden arches for a quarter pounder with cheese and some fries for himself and nuggets for The Kid. I insisted I was not partaking in the grub fest, but walked in the door, saw an ad for a jalapeno burger, and tossed all food snobbery to the wind. Maybe I was starving or suffering some mental defect that evening, but let me tell you, that freaking jalapeno burger was delicious. (Obviously this has nothing to do with Beyonce, but I’m posting it anyway since she used to be known for eating all kinds of crap food and I apparently have no issues eating crap food.)

3. How come Bey only goes places with Jay? Does he not let her out by herself? I don’t know what the deal is with that but I’m feeling a little suffocated for her.

4. I love this song. Like love. Really. And I don’t even know why because I’m not sure it’s that great of a song, but I love it anyway. Which makes me wonder – did Solange write this? Because really, if we’re being honest, the only good Beyoncé songs are the songs written by her badass little sister.

5. Please stop writing articles, imploring me to give up on Lauryn Hill. Have you listened to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill? Because if you have, then you know it’s not going to happen. That album, and that version of Lauryn is perfection. And I am going to always hold out hope to catch a glimpse, no matter how brief, of the brilliance that was L Boogie. So think of something else to bitch about. Thanks. (Not Beyoncé related, I know. But it’s random and I thought it, so deal.)

6. The other day Beyoncé cut her bangs and I believe the internet collectively inhaled. Well, everyone but The Stepdaughter and me. Being a total lover of bangs (hello! who wears them better than Audrey Tautou?), I think Bey looks great. But come on folks, all that hullabaloo over a hairstyle she rocked in Lady Gaga’s Telephone video. Really? Y’all can get all hot and bothered but for the record, we’re not getting down with the hype.


7. That said, I think my sister should get some baby bangs like this. She would look amazing.

8. Okay, that’s about all the Beyoncé-thinking I can do for probably the remainder of my life. Well, actually I’ve still gotta harp on the whole Jay-always-being-around thing I mentioned above – it really bothers me. I feel like she jumped from her dad to Jay, and she’s Bey. I will say that again.

She. Is. Beyoncé.

Sasha Fierce. Queen Bey. She should be running those dudes. Instead, first her dad ran the show and now her husband does the same, telling her what to do, when to do it, and who to do it with (which, like I said, seems to only be Jay – where are her girlfriends???) Bums me out. I want her to yell at Jay, really bark on his ass, and tell him to back the fuck off for two seconds and let her breathe.

Now I’m done.

Holla bitches.


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