City of Please-Make-Me-Forget-That-Horrible-Movie, Part II

I finished “reading” City of Heavenly Fire last night.

CoHFCover

And by reading, I mean searching the book for every mention of “Zachariah”, for he is the only character that really matters to me anymore, reading those passages and skipping everything else.

As a lover of books and the written word, this behavior is sinful, blasphemous, profane and when that day comes for me to stand before the literary gods, they will probably hold this exercise in skimming against me.

And that’s when the lawyer in me will rise up and defend myself, reminding the literary gods of the similar blasphemous acts of Hollywood and Ms. Clare, when they came together in an unholy union to produce that piece of shit film that has forever burned my eyeballs and seared itself into my visual memory banks, The Mortal Instruments.

And the gods will sit back and say, “Ah, yes. That movie was a piece of shit.” and they will let me go on my merry way, for my crime of skimming The City of Heavenly Fire pales in comparison to the crime committed when putting together The Mortal Instruments.

So yeah, that’s what happened last night around one in the morning. I searched for Jem, found him, and kept it moving until I reached the end. And no, I cannot review the book for my blog, but I got enough out of it to know what happened, how the series was put to rest.

And at least now I’m free from thinking about the boy from Twilight and the girl with the enviable eye brows.

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3 thoughts on “City of Please-Make-Me-Forget-That-Horrible-Movie, Part II

  1. Yes! I haven’t read CoHF yet (and i won’t commit the sin of skimming) but you are right on the money about them eyebrows. the only thing i liked about the mortal instruments movie was magnus bane and even then my fan girling over the hotness of one Godfrey Gao was tainted because of the dude who played Alex. D:

    • Oh yeah, Alex was horrible. Reminded me of the dude they cast to play Peeta in The Hunger Games. Another horrible casting choice: Simon. The only good ones are Magnus and Clary’s mom. Lena Headey kind of kicks ass.

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